minister – HOPE TO INSPIRE YOU

BROKENHEARTED

The other day on my daily prayer walk, a heart-shaped piece of blacktop caught my eye. Naturally, I had to bend down and pick it up to add to my collection of heart reminders. Much to my dismay, the heart crumbled into three pieces as I picked it up. I thought, well, that is a first. I was a little saddened and disappointed when it crumbled, but then I had two thoughts.

The first was “break my heart for what breaks yours, God.” I thought it was from a Bible verse, which is not the case. The thought is a lyric in a song or two.

“Break my heart for what breaks yours, God.” Continue reading “BROKENHEARTED”

RELATIONSHIPS

During the last few years, God has impressed upon my heart how vital relationships are in each of our lives. We truly are all connected and need each other to share with, learn from, and encourage one another. It is important to be aware of people in our lives who need us to be there for them and those that God puts in our life for us. It works both ways!

In your life, do you make time for relationships rather than always busying yourself with checking things off your to do list? It is something I struggle with but feel I am making progress on in my life.

For those of us who are more introverted, I think this realization of the importance of relationships in our lives might take a little more effort compared to those that are maybe naturally extroverted. But I think the extroverts can help encourage the introverts of the importance of sharing with others and maybe help them come out of their shells some.

There have been three or four incidences within a few weeks where God showed me the importance of relationships. I think the main lesson for me is that, yes….

…we do need each other

…we can all help each other

…and build the kingdom of God through our relationships.

Photo credit by Celestine Chua under Creative Commons License (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

On Thanksgiving Day, I received a text from the Pre-K teacher I worked with the past two years who was just thinking of me and wishing me a nice day. This summer she moved about 1 1/2 hr away and I only saw her once since then when we were both at a funeral for a mutual friend. In the process of exchanging a few texts on Thanksgiving, we both said how great it would be to get together. I made sure I made an effort to contact her on my day off that week, and it was a day that worked for her as well.

It was neat to see how God used just that simple, little text to orchestrate our get together which was a huge blessing for both of us. She was excited to show me their new home and the church that her husband pastors, so I made the trek to their new place. It is always a pleasure to spend time with her, talk about the Lord, our families, and whatever else comes up. We enjoyed a nice lunch at a quaint little restaurant and her husband joined us for a bit. Four hours flew by and I know both of us were inspired and encouraged through our visit.

Sharing different parts of our lives with each other and in more depth was truly a blessing. So often I think I am the only that is going through something, but then I learn that is not really the case. Having that support and encouragement from other people helps us get through different things and might give us a different view point that we had not thought of.

Another friend of mine texted me on a Sunday to say she bought some tickets to a Women’s Tea at her church and wondered if I wanted to go. It was a blessing to learn that because of a sermon she heard about the importance of community, she decided to go the Tea and invite a few friends. Again, it was a blessing spending time together, take time to reflect on the reason for the Christmas season, and it was powerful to see the speaker at the Tea echoed a devotional I had just read from the pastor of Third Day. God at work!

During the past year, my life has also been enriched through building community through a 32-week Bible Study and then a 10-week one. That coming together and sharing thoughts about the studies and even prayer requests builds relationships that are so vital in our lives.

Small groups are a great way to build relationships as well. I’ve been blessed to be meeting one on one with a friend who experienced the Bible study with me and then we both shared an in-depth weekend retreat. It has been a true blessing to meet weekly with her to share our experiences, pray for each other and encourage one another.

David Carr, Mac Powell, & Mark Lee, all of Third Day, with some Gomers in Fayetteville, NC 11/20/15

Attending Third Day concerts and getting to know the old time fans called Gomers shows me the importance of relationships as well. And as I’ve said many times, the guys of Third Day model for us the importance of relationships. They take the time to ask how your trip was, thank you for coming, and wish you safe travels home to show they care. The Gomers are a group of people, bonded together through their love for Third Day music, who realize the importance of relationships and are there to support one another via prayer, an encouraging word if needed, and sometimes even financially if some disaster is affecting someone.

Though not quite as vital and certainly not to replace our face-to-face relationships, social media these days can help build relationships to a point and a definite way we can encourage others. There are more opportunities to pray for others, encourage someone with a kind word, and make a difference in their life. I have been blessed to feel led to pray and encourage a few people this way, and truly have been blessed in return. You might just say one little thing that might have a huge impact on the other person. God can use even the smallest gesture or one sentence spoken in truth to change the other person or help them see something in a different light.

So, I encourage you to be aware of the importance of relationships in your life. Even meeting an elderly neighbor at the mailbox and talking with them and being really “present” for a few minutes, rather than being busy with your to do list, can make an impact on their life. Take time for those vital relationships that God puts in your path!

Feel free to share ways you have experienced how vital relationships have been in your life. Maybe helping you through an illness, providing transportation or meals for you when you couldn’t provide for yourself?

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. –1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

DAILY OPPORTUNITIES

Everyday, our lives are presented with opportunities that we can grow from if we are open to it. Sometimes I get stuck in the mundane routine of life and fail to see these opportunities that I can learn lessons from.

Being on the lookout for these opportunities makes the day more interesting and purposeful. If we are open to them, it can help us change the way we view something, and then we can even take the big step to change whatever we want to, in the hopes of being a better version of us!

Today the lesson I was reminded of was that sometimes people can be so negative and set in their thinking. Seeing that in people is maybe a good thing, if it helps us realize that we don’t want to be like that in our life. So often I hear people say they can’t change or be different. I don’t think that is true. Being aware of something you want to change, along with God’s power in your life, can lead to change. I think it is a sad thing if someone thinks they can not change their attitude about something.

Photo credit by BK under Creative Commons License (CC BY-SA 2.0)

We have the choice to change the way we view something, and I am thankful that I can see that. I do not want to be like that negative spirit. It only brings you down and is also unhealthy.

So, what are some ways I try to remind myself to be more positive?

1-Being open to change and new opportunities.

2-Reminding myself that we have a choice to live our lives like we want to.

3-Listening to Christian music that encourages me.

4-Thinking on the positive and the many blessings in my life.

5-Reaching out to positive people.

6-Praying for others.

God provided the opportunity for me to realize that I can decide if I want to be more negative or more positive. I, with His help, have the power to change my outlook on life!

Is there some area of your life that God might be asking you to change? Do you believe with God’s help you can change?

Continue to look for those opportunities in your life where God might be showing you that you can change!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things. –Philippians 4:8

THE BLESSING OF CAREGIVERS

A few months ago I talked about some Inspirational People in my life. At that time, I did touch on the specialness of one particular caregiver, but I wanted to expound on that importance of the caregiver a little more. I truly believe they deserve a special shout out, and they need to know what a blessing they are.

I also mentioned in another writing, about the Bible Study I’m involved in this year encouraged us to do some type of “ministry” work outside of our comfort zone. The jail ministry did not work out, so when a Deacon in our Bible Study mentioned about praying for a gentlemen who used to go to our church who has had cancer for the last four years, right away, I felt compelled to go visit them.

To do something outside of ourselves and our little, familiar comfort zone can be scary but I am really finding that I need to continue to follow that little prompting and step out in faith. I will admit I kept going back and forth in my mind if I could really call them to see if they were open to a visit and then go and do that. And then I’m thinking, what will I talk about or say to them. Thankfully, I got brave, did call, not just once, but twice (as nobody answered the first time). The wife was more than happy to accept an invitation for a visit, and so I was off to their house the next morning.

It just so happened that the lady used to babysit my eldest child..only about 18 or 19 years ago! It seems hard to believe that it was probably about two years ago when I ran into her at the grocery store and we conversed for a bit. Other than that, I have not seen them too much through the years.

As always, it is delightful to see how God works things out. I had scheduled the visit around a birthday lunch with a friend of mine, allowing an hour visit before meeting my friend. In the end, it really worked out that my friend could not make the lunch date. That way, I did not have a time constraint with the couple I was visiting.

I brought some cookies for them, which they greatly appreciated, she made some coffee, and though at times I felt like maybe my words didn’t come out right, I know the visit meant a lot to them. We all had a wonderful time catching up on each other’s families, and reminiscing about the “old” days, and just being there for them. More than three hours flew by before I left!

Photo credit by garlandcannon under Creative Commons License (CC BY-SA 2.0)

During my visit, I was very blessed to see the two of them interact, as well with their one daughter that was home helping them out. It made me realize once again how special the role of a caregiver is and the extreme sacrifices they make. The caregivers that I know personally, care for their loved ones with such love and devotion.

I’ve witnessed the caregivers:

–Serving their loved one with respect

–Serving their loved one with dignity

–Serving their loved one with such love

–Serving their loved one with such patience

–Serving their loved one with gentleness

–Serving their loved one with kindness

–Serving their loved one with such faithfulness

–Serving their loved one with words of endearment

I know the caregivers often sacrifice their own wants and desires in order to be there for their loved one. Many times, the caregiver can not just go when they want because they might not be able to leave their loved one without someone being there. This can be so draining on the caregiver, but they continue to give us a great example.

It really is a special person who cares for another with such a humbling, loving spirit. What a true example of being Christ to their loved one.

So, I would just like to thank the blessed caregivers who give so much of themselves for their loved ones. They have touched my heart, and I know they are certainly following Jesus’ humble example of serving others.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. –Galatians 5:22-23

A TIME OF GRACE

Can you think of a time in your life when despite a rough, stressful season you could still see God working and helping you through it all? Maybe you would consider it a time of grace in your life?

In the last year and a half there have been three times where relatives have been in the hospital for extended times, as well as relatives being in the ER for various reasons. I’ve come to know my way around the hospital pretty well. Being there also brings back memories since it is the same hospital where I used to be a candy-striper/volunteer for many years back in the day! That was certainly a highlight in my life where I got to meet many people and help others.

Times when loved ones are in the hospital and there are so many unknowns of what is going to happen are tough. It is definitely an opportunity to pray for the person individually and to ask others to join you in prayer for your loved one.

During times like this, it can also be stressful to be there to support the person yet be there for your immediate family. But, they can also be times of experiencing God’s grace and love. This was definitely what I experienced this past April and May.

My father in law was in the hospital for a total of 32 days followed by 7 days in a local rehab place. He ended up having two abdominal surgeries within 9 days.

The first surgery seemed to go really well, and he was even up and walking the same day! But, as time went on, things weren’t progressing as expected internally, so they did the second surgery.

The second surgery did not go so well. The doctors were really only able to open him up, and shortly after, just stitched him up, because he started bleeding too much. The doctors were unable to see well enough to do anything. That was pretty devastating to think they couldn’t fix him anymore, and we were unsure where that would leave him.

We really thought we were going to lose my father-in-law this time because they couldn’t do the second surgery and because his mind was not functioning properly after that surgery. He was “seeing” things that weren’t there….like mashed potatoes hanging from the ceiling! He was not too coherent and couldn’t remember too much. He even thought he was on a boat! We really thought his mind was not going to be “normal” again. This went on for many days.

Thankfully, he gradually came back around to the guy we knew. It was really hard to see him struggle so much, lose his strength and especially his mind for so long. But, somehow he bounced back slowly. He was so weak that he had to go to rehab for a week to regain some strength. We were truly blessed that there was a local place that had an opening for him. Finally, he was ready to try returning to home with the help of a walker.

My in-laws have a total of seven kids, three of which are local, one about 1 1/2 hrs away and three in Massachusetts. It is always so remarkable to see all through the years that all the families get along well and support each other, especially in being there for their parents to aid them in whatever way they can.

With the local families around, it seemed people were always there to support my in laws and try to help pass the long days in the hospital. It seemed someone was always there visiting my father-in-law, trying to fill his time and eventually to try to get his mind working again. We would bring trivia questions to help stimulate his mind, ask him crossword puzzles, since he couldn’t even write at the time, and the likes.

Celebrating Mother’s Day 2014 at the Rehab Courtyard.

Things were slow going when he was finally able to come home, and we still wondered if he would return to a normal lifestyle, but we are so thankful that he was pretty much back to normal after a good three months. It has really amazed us all to see how far he came. Family members took up the mowing and house duties that he was not able to do.

For me, this time of grace seems magnified because I was able to share it with a friend as well. It was really one of those God-incidents that at the same time my father-in-law was in the hospital, I ended up finding out a friend’s mother, who I had never met, was in the same hospital. A little prompting inside me had me go visit her mom’s room once I found out. Quite the opposite from our situation that had lots of local people to support them, this friend was really the only one there for her mother. Her one sister lives out of town. So I really felt compelled to visit my friend most every time when I would visit my father-in-law. Being there to listen to my friend and share in her journey and show I cared really blessed me. It was kind of a special bond that strengthened our friendship. It was also a joy to meet her mother who was a very special, sweet lady. I felt blessed to have met her even for such a short time. Every time I would visit, she too, would ask about how my father in law was. Despite her condition, she cared about someone she never even met.

When my friend’s mother went to a nursing home for a few days before reentering the hospital a second time, it just didn’t feel the same not being able to visit her. It was hard to see my friend’s mom’s health decline before our eyes and at the beginning of May she ended up dying. But, I feel my life was enriched and graced through knowing her for such a short time. Meeting my friend’s sister was also a blessing and it seemed like we’d known each other forever. It was my privilege to attend the funeral for this family and try to show my love and support for what they were going through. The same day of the funeral, I was suppose to go out of town to attend a conference, but I knew I wanted to share in the funeral instead. I truly was so blessed through being there and the luncheon after with the family.

Photo credit by DRAMOS19 under Creative Common License (CC BY 2.0)

It was special to see how my friend was there all the time for her mother….to see that special bond between a mother and her daughter. I know it was hard for my friend to leave her family and three children home so much during her mom’s hospitalization, but she did what she had to do at the time…be there for her mother. I know their Easter was not quite the same this year, but my friend was sharing in her mother’s journey at the time.

I am so thankful for this time of grace that accompanied the sharing of the hard struggles of seeing people suffer. Trying to be there to support one another and help in whatever small way are such blessings in our lives, and God is always there to provide what we need.

Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. –Hebrews 4:16

INSPIRATIONAL LIVING

Is there anyone in your life who you consider lives a truly inspirational life?

By this, I mean that their whole life is a true inspiration. I have found the people’s lives that have the greatest impact on me are the ones who endure lives filled with physical challenges.

As I was thinking about the people I have known through the years, two special people fall into that category of “Inspirational Living” for me.

When I was a young teen, I started volunteering at a local hospital delivering flowers to patients, working in the coffee shop and doing various other activities. As time progressed, I eventually got to help out on a patient floor as well. During that time, I met a special lady, Veronica Dribnock, who ended up being a patient at the hospital for three and half years. She was soon nicknamed “The Sweetheart of North Tower 4.”

When I met Veronica, she was a quadriplegic and had lived that way for 18 years. I had the blessing of knowing her for about 3 years before she died.

Here is a short synopsis of some of the physical challenges she faced so valiantly.

By the time Veronica was a senior in high school, they learned she had a disease that caused her to have a weakness in her arms and legs.

Eventually, she was diagnosed with Syringomyelia, which is the growth of tubular cysts in the spinal cord. As the cysts grow in length, the nervous system’s messages to various parts of the body weaken and will eventually be shut off. Unfortunately, many times the cysts can not be removed surgically because of their location.

When Veronica was about 25 years old, she could no longer work due to the progression of the disease. She became completely paralyzed except for some movement in her hands. Veronica was able to stay in her parent’s house for 18 years. They put her bed in the living room so she could see out the big picture window. When Veronica was 43 years old and developed pneumonia, it was decided she would stay permanently in the hospital because the weakened condition of her chest muscles made her very susceptible to respiratory infections.

By the time she was in the hospital, the disease had claimed the little movement she had in her hands. Veronica did not want to be a burden for anyone and wanted a little bit of independence. It was such a blessing that a friend of hers who was also an electrician at the hospital invented a device that enabled Veronica to have a control box resting on her chest. This control box had some tubes coming out of it which she could use her chin to activate. In the beginning, there were three controls…one for the TV, one for the telephone, and one for the nurse’s call button. Shortly before Veronica died, the electrician had perfected a nine function device for her use.

Veronica Dribnock

Photo credit: Hi-Lights of Wilson Memorial Hospital-June 1980

Despite being a quadriplegic for 21 years, Veronica’s life exemplified many things that we can all learn from.

Veronica always had a big smile on her face
Veronica was always positive no matter what her circumstances
Veronica always cared about others, asking about them and their family
Veronica always made you feel special and like you truly mattered to her
Veronica faced life with courage and faith

What a wonderful example of a grace-filled life Veronica’s life on earth was for each of us that came in contact with her. I am so blessed that I had the opportunity to meet her and to call her friend. For me, it was always a blessing to help her in whatever small way I could. I am sure that her life and example to me when I was a young teen has helped shaped me into the person I am today.

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It has been a distinct honor and privilege to have an inspirational couple in my life, who have really come to mean even more to me these past few years.. Dr. Gregorio Pedroza, and his wife Lilly.

It is amazing to think I met them about 31 years ago, but during the past 2 1/2 years, I have gotten to know them more personally through frequent visits to let them know how much we love and care for them, and to provide assistance in whatever small way we can.

Greg’s story began back in 1981 when he was 40 years old. At that time, Greg & Lilly’s three children were ages 18, 17, and 16 years old. Their middle child, Vince, was my husband’s best friend while growing up.

Greg was experiencing some tingling in his right hand. At this time in history, there were no MRI’s or CAT scans available, so he endured many difficult tests to determine the cause. Greg ended up seeing 19 doctors before a Dr. in NYC (about 3 1/2 hrs from their home) finally discovered he had a tumor at the base of his brain inside the spinal cord.

Drs. told Greg if they operated, he would have a 99% of being a quadriplegic, and if they did not operate, they gave him six months to live. The tumor was located near the area of the body that controls your heartbeat, functionality to breath, and other involuntary bodily functions. The Dr. also said if they operated, whatever condition he woke up in, would be the way he would remain.

After this final diagnosis, Greg came home for a year at which time he basically slept all the time. It took that long to find a Dr. who could operate using high frequency sound rather than a knife because the tumor was such a bad one, and in a location which made it even trickier to operate on. The Dr. they finally found in NYC had actually only performed this procedure on children, never on an adult.

Sept. 7, 1982 was operation day for Greg. He was in the hospital for two weeks, and then spent three months in rehab in NYC. The result of the surgery was that Greg lost the use of his right arm, his balance was not too good, and he could walk only with assistance. His left side was left strong but numb. Greg arrived back to his home on Dec. 20, 1982. He endured both chemo and radiation as the tumor was cancerous. Jan 11, 1983, Greg returned to his job at IBM as an engineer manager. When he returned to work, he used a scooter to start with and eventually he graduated to a walker, then cane. Greg was able to work for 10 more years before his health challenges forced him to retire.

The Dr. ended up “unroofing” Greg’s spinal cord, so in addition, he was left with continual, chronic pain, 24 hrs, 7 days a week, that he has now endured for 32 years. This is called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome which is characterized by severe non-stop burning pain, and extreme sensitivity to touch. “Dante’s Inferno”, the feeling of constantly being on fire is another constant in Greg’s life. Sleep is the only refuge he gets from this feeling of fire.

Two and half years ago, Greg & Lilly were at a friend’s cottage celebrating the Fourth of July holiday. He was pretty much wheelchair bound as his condition was deteriorating his leg use even more. He had an unfortunate accident where he ended up hitting the back of his head on three steps as he fell while in the wheelchair. This event paralyzed him, but he did recover some use of his left hand from the elbow down. He is now considered a limited functioning quadriplegic who is wheelchair bound.

Greg ended up in Syracuse, NY (about 1 1/2 hrs from their home) at a hospital for six weeks and then in a rehab unit for another six weeks. It was at this time, that we would go visit him and where I gained even a greater appreciation for what he and Lilly were going through. It was so hard to see what he was enduring after already living for so many years with such physical limitations.

It has been a long road for him and Lilly these past few years. We were so happy they were able to bring Greg home after rehab despite the additional physical challenges and limitations. With Greg’s great mind thinking of ways to do things and different inventions, my husband, and other people Greg knows have adapted different things in their house to allow him to stay at home, which has been a huge blessing. It has helped Greg still be somewhat independent. Their house now sports a pretty amazing contraption they came up with to help Greg go to the bathroom by himself.

To help him forget about his pain, Greg, through the years, has turned to storytelling and writing. He has traveled extensively sharing his stories, laughter and joy. It helps him forget for a few moments the constant pain he endures. I think his poems of alliteration are pretty amazing. Greg has published the following:

“My Glow Days”-Book of poems about his pain

“Short Stories from the Heart”-Book of short stories

“We”-Love poems to his wife, Lilly

6 CD’s of Short Stories

Throughout Greg’s constant pain and health issues through these 32 years, Greg’s life is characterized by service to others and love for others. I am always amazed to hear how he is tutoring someone in college, ministering to others who are suffering, calling shut-in’s to check on them, writing to inmates in prison, praying for people who send him cards, and the list goes on and on. What a beautiful example of sharing Christ with others no matter what your circumstances!

In sharing Greg’s story, I can’t help but also say how much respect and credit that I have for his wife, Lilly. She, too, lives an inspirational life because she is always there to support Greg with his physical needs and in doing so many things around the house that Greg can not do. She literally has become Greg’s hands and feet to keep their house still running. The patience, unconditional love and service she provides is exemplary. Another of Lilly’s gifts is her love of cooking to serve others. But, thinking about how she does even all the cooking herself with such love, is also an inspiration. Shopping, cooking, and cleaning up every single day, at every single meal with no break without complaining is a wonderful thing. She too, is also always upbeat and loving.

Dr. Gregorio and Lilly Pedroza

Despite the many health challenges and constant pain Greg has endured the past 32 years, Greg has also presented us with many positive examples of ways to live that we can benefit from:

Greg is always cheerful and has a great smile to share
Greg is so positive and finds the blessing in everything
Greg has a great faith which helps keep him going
Greg always cares about how others are doing
Greg is always expanding his knowledge and learning
Greg continues to help others no matter what his physical limitations might be

When I go to visit Greg and Lilly, I am always refreshed and inspired, leaving much more blessed than when I came. Greg and Lilly are such wonderful examples of making YOU feel special, loved and cared for and how to not let anything stop you from doing what God has called you to do.

I am so thankful for the wonderful lessons that Veronica, Greg, and Lilly have taught me by their truly inspirational lives. I wish they did not have to suffer, but some day they will be free of their physical limitations again. In the meantime, it is a blessing to view the inspirational lessons their lives are and to try to be there to help others in whatever way we can.

…And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. –Romans 5:2-5

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Photo credit by Celestine Chua under Creative Commons License (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

David Carr, Mac Powell, & Mark Lee, all of Third Day, with some Gomers in Fayetteville, NC 11/20/15

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Photo credit by BK under Creative Commons License (CC BY-SA 2.0)

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